How to get yourself out of the house when you have a baby or toddler

You know how when you take a Peloton class they always congratulate you for showing up? I want that in my everyday life. I want the gate agents to clap when we make it to the gate. I want waiters to bring out a slice of cake because we made it to the restaurant five minutes before our reservation. I want museum staff to hang a banner celebrating our arrival.

I wanted a medal after doing this very short hike for how much effort it took to get out of the house.

What I learned very early on as a mom is that it’s much, much easier for me to be out and about than trapped in our play area. If it’s pouring rain, I’m still at the playground. Or packing a picnic lunch to stretch out a library storytime as long as I possibly can. Or keeping a spreadsheet of local, regular events so I always have ideas of where to go on a given day. The days we don’t get out of the house I collapse under the weight of balancing domestic responsibilities, the siren call of work emails, and a toddler pulling my sleeve. That’s when I feel the failure of the “You can have it all!” dream the most, and torn in so many directions I end up spinning in circles.

But the hardest part of outings, and bigger trips too, is just GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE. You’d think as someone that does this every day, whether it’s for school or for fun, that it would be easier. Ha, ha, ha, it’s not.

Prep starts several days before.

I’m not talking about packing—though I do often pack bags well in advance if I can get away with the laundry situation—but about kiddo prep.

Toddlers thrive on consistency and routine. Travel naturally disrupts that.

For a big trip, we start talking about it weeks before, often reading books about flying or the beach or whatever we’ll see to keep prepping (to them) unconsciously. At dinner time, we’ll talk through the logistics of the days ahead: “We’re going to the city on Friday! I’m going to pick you up from school and we’ll take a long drive on the highway, through the tunnels, and into the city. We’ll see so many skyscrapers!”

I’m sure you remember the 5 Ws from elementary school English: Who, what, where, when, and why. We don’t always get through more than one “W,” but I find the more I explain ahead of time, the fewer meltdowns we have when we get there.

It takes literally a half hour or more to get into the car.

Day of, we are by the door so long before we have to leave, it’s ridiculous. Yet we always manage to leave five minutes late. Our pre-leaving routine is:

Hour out: I call that we’re going to be leaving “soon.” I pack lunches/gather up stuff and pack the car/make sure I’m done eating and getting ready. Sometimes this is easy, like in the morning when they’re still eating breakfast. Other times I’m interrupting play which doesn’t go quite as smoothly.

Half hour out: I call that we’re going to be leaving in “ten minutes.” We finish up whatever play is going on and then I do my best to convince my toddler that actually, we do need to go potty. I don’t always win.

Fifteen minutes out: We are downstairs by the door, putting shoes and coats on agonizingly slowly. I always let them press the garage door opener as a reward.

Five minutes out: Endless strapping in of car seat shenanigans, running back into the house for my phone/wallet/whatever else I’ve forgotten on the counter.

1 minute out: Contemplate why we even bother to leave the house when I am sweating and out of breath and we haven’t left yet.

Wheels up: “Hopefully I didn’t forget anything…”

And we’re out. *Cue How Far I’ll Go by Moana, our current musical obsession*

Remember your rhythm.

Every kid is different, and only you are going to know the right timing to get out of the house in one piece. I know if I dilly-dally past 10 AM to leave we’re never leaving, because by then my toddler gets into flow and/or I’ve already set up an activity and/or I realize I have a domestic task that needs doing and suddenly it’s lunchtime, so we might as well stay here. We are up and OUT by 9:30 AM at the latest most mornings—often earlier if I’m able to—so that we have a full outing, lunch, and then are home by naptime (or sleep in the car.) I’ve got a kid that’s up at 6 AM every morning, so that’s our rhythm. If I try to force anything else, it’s just not gonna work.

And it does get easier. Part of why this is our rhythm is this is *my* preferred schedule. (Well, maybe not the 6 AM wakeup.) I am a morning person and an early lunch person and so that’s what we do.

What I pack in my car so I can always make a quick exit.

My only real secret to getting out of the house is that I’m always packed to leave (my version of the Hulk’s always angry), so that when I inevitably forget something I have it anyway. Lately, somewhere between the basement and climbing into the carseat we seem to lose a shoe?? Just one. A toddler mystery.

I’ve always been the type of person to have a go-bag in their trunk—my senior year of high school I always kept a sleeping bag, a swimsuit, my lifeguard uniform, and a gigantic stack of cds just in case—and that hasn’t changed since becoming a mom. Here’s an example of what’s in my trunk for the summer:

Yes, I have an SUV. I keep all of these things in a big plastic container in the trunk.

Thanks for being here.

Watching the penguins for a surprisingly long time.

Lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the idea of booking another big trip, but that hasn’t stopped us from having a lot of fun in our backyard. My husband had a work conference in the city and some points to burn so we booked ourselves a little staycation in Boston and did all of our favorite things—shrieking at the penguins in the Aquarium, a ride on the Greenway Carousel, unreal sandos at new-to-me Sunny Girl in the North End, and wiggles out at Martin’s Playground. Though my toddler would tell you the best part was eating a snack while watching some of the high-rise condo construction in the Seaport…nothing like a mighty mighty construction site for my little one.

I often overthink travel, like it always has to be new and exciting, but this is our third time running the same Seaport/North End itinerary and it’s just easy and fun every time. I almost didn’t go though—we have a bunch of other little trips coming up and I have been feeling a little overwhelmed about it all lately—but I’m so glad I got myself out of the house anyway.

Just do it,

Kayla

If you liked this post, please consider supporting my work. I’m just a mom in the thick of the toddler years trying to create core memories for our whole family while minimizing meltdowns—I sincerely hope this helps you do the same.

This post was originally published on Travel with Toddlers. Subscribe for more real-talk travel advice, toddler-friendly itineraries, and tried-and-true gear recommendations.

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